Little Monsters.

If you think that mosquitoes are annoying, you are strongly mistaken, people.

You might not have met the worst of the worst, but I have and I’m going to warn you.

My home is currently being invaded by the most notorious, vicious, malicious creatures I have ever met in the 17 years I’ve lived. These vile creatures will give you a night you will never forget. They give you insomnia, plus a brand new makeover every time you get out of bed, cling onto you and irritatingly refuse to let go and just suck the patience (and blood) out of you.

Introducing the BEDBUGS.

They look exactly like that. The picture shows the adult one, that obviously has had quite a meal. Their babies are the most annoying because they’re white (since they haven’t sucked blood) and super teen-weeny, therefore hard to find. The adult ones, I’d say are about the size of a grain of rice (length-wise), so you can imagine a much smaller version of that only in white. Interestingly enough, their eggs look EXACTLY like grains of white rice. It’s REVOLTING, trust me on this one. (When you go on a massacre of bedbugs, all of them will drop onto the ground, dead or dying, and in the midst, there’ll be many many many grains of rice in the battlefield.)

I have an idea of where they come from (but I’m not going to tell because it might hurt some people’s feelings), but a piece of advice, if you come from a place in which the bedbugs have already won the war and are overtaking the place, before you enter your house, kill all the bedbugs you find on you, wash everything you’re wearing asap and check every nook and crook of your bags or other stuff you brought along there before they destroy your life. (Seriously, it is quite unpleasant to type this thing while having to scratch here and there every other second to ease the itch)

Ask me anything about bedbugs and I can tell you because this is my family’s WWIII with bedbugs (and I can proudly say that we won the two before, and currently winning this one :3 )  When you have been bitten over and over again, giving you a chicken pox look every night, it’d bring out the evil in anyone. The itch is not your regular itch, at first you can resist but when it doesn’t get the attention that it wants, the itch bites at you(literally) sometimes even making you jump, startled from the sudden shock and forcing you to scratch it. Worse off, every time you scratch, out pops a new itch somewhere around the area and it spreads. So if you keep scratching it repeatedly (like me), you’ll get what would look like a very bad rash.

But I must say, dealing with armies of bedbugs so many times have made me a tougher person. Because of them, I’m less scared of insects or whatnot around me and unless they don’t hurt me, I’ll go on a killing spree. I used to be scared shit of every six or eight-legged creature that ever walked this earth, but now I can bravely go up to anyone and crush them with my bare hands (or fingers, in this case). But not cockroaches, really, I just cannot deal with cockroaches. I swear God invented them to give me hell. I once broke my classroom’s broom, trying to smack  a cockroach to death during social studies lesson, screaming like a mad lunatic when in the end, nothing died on that day, though I heard that someone caught it the next day, thank God.

Anyway bottom line is, when your parents or movies say “Good night, don’t let the bedbugs bite”, be warned! Because you do not want to deal with these creatures from hell. Honestly, I’d wish for mosquitoes anytime but just not bedbugs. (and cockroaches)

you PERVERT.

I am currently in a love-hate relationship with old men.

On one side, they can be like this:

See? Nice, sweet-looking, adorable and pretty much harmless. Generally, I have a soft spot for old men. I often notice old man sitting at the void deck and they always say hi to me. Sometimes I think they’re pitiful, sometimes they’re just plain funny.

But that’s not the point. The true horror is that out there, in harsh reality, there exists a strange species of old men who I strongly feel deserve the title of “Perverted Old Freaks”. Something like this.

These many encounters with these sexual predators were much more rampant during my SC days. I don’t know if it’s because of the uniform then and now or is it because it’s only been 3-4 weeks I started poly, but yeah, some of those days were HORROR.

On a typical SC week, I would usually meet one of these pervs. either on the bus, bus-stop, in their vehicles while I’m waiting for the green man, or anywhere else around the school vicinity. It’s sad, at point in time, I thought SCGS was a gathering place for them, since I definitely wasn’t the only one who had to regularly encounter them.

What do they do?

Firstly, they stare at you for eternity, so much so that it is impossible for any girl to not feel a slight prickle at the back of their necks once they feel a perv’s eyes on the loose. You turn to look at them. They smile this really malicious-looking smile, and then they wink. THEY WINK. Some of the better ones even wave at you or make suggestive gestures with their hands.

Aargh! Just remembering it again SICKENS ME TO NO END.

Several times they made me almost topple a double decker bus over, snap the traffic light and swing it like a golf club at them, make a ginormous boulder fall from the sky and flatten them, create a massive thunderstorm so I could electrocute them over and over again and … you get the idea. I’m not kidding.

But that was all nothing compared to “THE WORST OF THE WORST”.

This happened one fateful day when I was riding the bus to school as per normal, sitting beside a perfectly-normal looking old man. Mind you, I was sitting on the outside while the old man was sitting on the inside. This fact was what saved my dignity. He was sleeping, or rather I assumed he was sleeping, because his head kept falling to one side. My side. On my shoulder. I tried to squirm away, bit by bit, but his freakin’ big head refused to lose. I didn’t realise at that time so I didn’t stand up. To make a long story short, when he tried to put his head on my shoulder (for the last time I might add), he purposely PRETENDED to fall all the way down to my lap. And believe me at that time, I FREAKED OUT. It ended up to be a wrestling match. Me against all the standing passengers all the way to the driver. By the time I was panting beside the driver out of pure shock and trauma, the door opened. I wasn’t thinking right so I ran off.

I reached school and met up with my best friends, Jac and SJ, who helped calm me down. They made me laugh by offering their services to be my bodyguards, since one has a black-belt in taekwondo while the other is practised in kenjutsu or the art of Japanese sword fighting. I got over it but I learnt my lesson.

From then on, I always had this in my mind: PERVERTS ARE ALWAYS ON THE PROWL. BEWARE.

Right. Now why am I writing all this now? Because I just encountered one this afternoon. In the bus. Sigh. Yet again.

This time, the old man was sitting near the exit, while I was sitting in one of those seats which face the back of the bus so that it will be more convenient for me to carry out my People-Watch assignment. Then, I felt it. The prickle on the back of my neck. He was staring at me, then he smiled, and winked.

Extremely annoyed, I went like this:

And then I gave him my “Wink at me one more time and I’ll start plucking grapes & snapping sticks” stare.

He turned around. I calmly walked to the back of the bus and sat there, temporarily abandoning my initial mission on the bus, seeing as how my mood was no longer keeping up.

And this is just in person. Not yet, the online harassment I occasionally get whenever I log on to MSN. (but now I find humour in amusing myself by telling these wannabes fake stories of myself. My most recent one is that I’m a male bodybuilder who recently won the World Championships.)

Nonetheless, enough is enough. If I ever meet up with one of these sickos one more time, I WILL COMMIT THE PERFECT MURDER.

i feel dirty.

It’s a crazy feat. I’m telling you.

How could one possibly swear as many times as he/she breathes? I innocently thought that Singaporeans were more dignified than that. Coming from a top girls’ school previously, I knew I was sheltered from the harsh reality of the outside world. Inside, everything was prim and proper (not really actually, but I shall not divulge about that).  I didn’t know what ‘harsh reality’ really stands for. But now, I have graduated. I’ve just got a taste of it. Yet I’m  FREAKING OUT here. Already. This amazing feat, appalingly, had easily been conquered by a number of people I’ve met recently.

Ok, maybe that’s putting it mildly. A LOT OF PEOPLE I’ve met recently.

As my world grew wider, I meet more people, whether in school, in Mcdonald’s, in the bus, in the MRT, in the toilets, even in my sms. You name it, I’ve heard vulgarities of all kinds from just these places.

You must be wondering: So what? Big deal.

Hell yeah, it’s a pretty big deal to me. You know how I really feel about it? READ THE TITLE.

Let me give you an example of how some of these people most likely go about their daily lives. Please fill in the blanks yourselves.

(wakes up in the morning because of the alarm clock)

Shut up you f____g piece of s__t!

D__n! Now I f___g got to go to that f___g school!

(after getting ready, prepares to leave the house)

To younger brothers and sisters: Bye s____s!

S__t! I forgot my f___k keys!

(Upon reaching school, meets up with friends and talks about the latest movie they saw)

I think so and so is a B___h!

Yeah, I think that actor is so bad, he should just s__k  c__k!

(On the way to class, they get lost.)

What the f__k?! We’re f___k lost!

This f___k school should f___k give us a f___k map or something. I’m like f___k wasting time herelah!

…

I can imagine them going on like this forever. At this point of time, I would most probably be thinking to myself: Dude! What the heck’s wrong with you? Go kill yourself or something if you hate the world so much!

Honestly, I’m seriously developing a phobia against vulgarities. I think most readers would be able to tell that all this started ever since I am official student of my new school. First three days, I was thinking, “Hmmm. Ok. Life is slightly different now. I’ll get used to it,” when I first started hearing people swearing all around me. I ask my ex-classmates about what life is like in their own new schools, and most of them recite the same story as I do.

“Especially the boys,” they would add, “But never mind, you’ll get used to it, I guarantee.” And I believed them.

A week has just passed.

I took the train to meet my mom at MOE. It was one crowded train. In front of me, two men were having a conversation.

This was what it sounded like:

Eh……..f____k!………..F____K!…………..Yeah, f_____k……..(and it goes on like this for several more seconds, I couldn’t hear anything else)

I felt uneasy, so I wormed my way through to a spot near the door, facing these group of girls who were chatting. Their conversation – from what I could hear, it was EVERY BIT  AS SIMILAR as the conversation from before. Upon realization, I turned my back towards them, not wanting to hear anymore, and there I was, facing a mother carrying a sleeping baby in her arms.

This is so much better. ( I love babies so whenever I see one, I tend to stare at them, forgetting about time and space)

Then suddenly, the baby opened his big glistening eyes and directed them towards me. He gives a  little smirk, thus attracting all of my attention towards his lips. And suddenly he mouths these words: F___k you.

The door opened and I rushed out, that particular word still ringing in my ears.

Traumatised. Deeply traumatised. Especially since I’m a visual person, the minute anyone mentions that word, “that image” forms in my mind. Hence, dirty.

So, to people who have read this post and know me, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do try to tone down the no. of times you use that word, or any others for that matter. If it’s used for a reason, I can understand because I DO THAT TOO (of course, only in mind, then suddenly my hands lift up to my cheeks and slaps them mentally. It’s my guilty conscience), however if you were to use it excessively, things will definitely be awkward between us because every time I think of you, I think of “that image”. Let’s just count it as mutual respect.

To Leslie and T1A1: I think you guys are the best, and couldn’t have wished for more. I love you people!

To anyone who reads this post: Please do not be offended. I was just stating my opinion, which if it had not been publicised, I would most likely end up in a mental hospital.